Old, Cranky and Annoyed

Warning: Today I am on my soapbox

This week, I had the unfortunate necessity to search for a page on myspace. Although one of my daughters assures me that myspace "is not just used by young people. Some of the people I know with myspace pages are 35," I have discovered something - teenagers do not become any more interesting in cyberspace.

Most of the pages I saw were the electronic equivalent of the ladies' room at your local dive bar that you would not go into unless you were drunk already. There, you can find such great literature as:

"I was so wasted last night. Seriously, I got SO drunk that I went home with Shana."
"Shana is a slut."
"You *&^%ing *@#! "

Clue to young people - anything stupid when you say it out loud is exponentially stupid when you post it where a billion people, including your parents, teachers, coaches and employers can read it. It's not that people of my generation never got drunk, went home with Shana or were Shana. They just generally were not moronic enough to post it on the Internet where Shana's husband and his divorce lawyer could find it.

Second clue to young people (and some old people) - your personal life is just not all that interesting. No one really cares that you got drunk last night unless you were with Paris Hilton, you were both naked and you have uploaded pictures. The only people who care at all are your friends, most of whom, contrary to popular belief, you will never see again when you are old, which according to my daughter, is approximately at age 35. If you must tell your friends about your latest indiscretion, create a mailing list.

Name it something like, People-who-cared-how-much-I-puked-last-night@yahoogroups.com . Better yet, figure out how to do a mass text message. That is probably the least likely medium to be intercepted by USADA or your parole officer.