Quotes and other dumb things

At the practice with West Coast Judo Training and Pasadena Judo Club, when 10-year-old Haykus asked Ronda to sit on him so he could see how she did that pin where she squeezes all of the air out of a person and they can't breathe.

"Haykus, did you just ask me to sit on you? When guys ask me that, I always say no, so I'm going to have to say no to you, too, buddy."

When Julia forgot her belt and I tied my red and white belt around her three times so she could keep her gi top closed, an ancient judo instructor almost beside himself sputtered,

"That little girl shouldn't be wearing a red and white belt. She isn't a sixth-degree black belt."

"What tipped you off? The fact that she's 3 1/2 feet tall?"

"Did you wash that gi?"
"It's not dirty, I only wore it once."

Sam: "Julia, why are you watching TV and not doing your homework?"
Julia: "I don't have a pencil."
Sam: "How are you going to find your pencil by watching TV? Did Hannah Montana take it?"

Old guy (overheard): "I don't think that AnnMaria should be allowed to be president of the USJA. She is always talking about her daughter who won an Olympic medal."

Me: "WTF? First of all, mothers talk about their daughters. It's in the job description. Second, I think you are just jealous because my kid won an Olympic medal and yours didn't. Third, what do you want me to talk about, how stupid you are? Happy now?"

Ronda: "I don't want to help clean the house. I just want to lay here and read my book."
Dennis: "And I don't want to go to work, I want to have my bodily wastes be legal tender."
Me: "You have to admit that would make for an interesting scene at the checkout counter in the grocery store."

Maria, after hearing that someone at work claimed to have done structural equation models by hand using a pencil and paper (only slightly less likely than having built a nuclear reactor out of wood using only his teeth as tools).
"Yeah, and at the newspaper, we didn't use layout software. We just cut out our stories and glued them on a big piece of paper."

Today, I went to work, went to judo, appointed people to committees, called the USJA office, did nage no kata badly, taught a class on SPSS, met with a person on LISREL and generally was useful. Nope, I am not going to try never to offend anyone because I am president of a national organization. I don't care what anyone else thinks - I am happy with my life and my family.

I believe Dr. Seuss was on the right track


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.