Stalked by Captain Obvious

In case you have ever wondered what your life would be like if you went everywhere accompanied by a super hero whose power was stating the obvious, you should have been with me this weekend. For example,

"I'm not whining. I'm just asking you in a whiny fashion."

"Why do I need to learn words in Japanese like 'newaza randori' for when I go to Japan to train, don't lots of people there speak English?"
"No, they don't speak English. They speak Japanese, because, you see, the thing of it is, they live in Japan."

After watching a TV show with vice-president Joe Biden from Wednesday when he had ashes on his forehead.
"Do you think Biden is Catholic?"
"No, I think he is a Protestant who likes to rub ashes on his head. On Wednesdays."

"If it's called a combination when you do two throws together and a counter when you throw the person trying to throw you, what is it called when your counter doesn't work and he throws you anyway?"
"It's called ippon for the other guy.