Bad People are Bad People, Whether They Do Martial Arts or Not

If you sleep with dogs, you'll wake up with fleas.

Hey, just because I've never been closer to the country than seeing a cow close up at the LA County Fair doesn't mean I can't use country sayings.

The brilliant Laura Clark once commented,

You and Lanny talk about "but they're judo people" as if being in judo means someone is a good person but it doesn't. There are bad people in judo, too.

While this should be self-evident, it amazes me how often someone will act as if the normal rules of society don't apply to people in martial arts. Take this , for example,

Would you let your 16-year-old daughter go to a foreign country without you, supervised by someone you have never met? 

For most parents, the immediate response is,

Hell, no! Are you out of your mind?

And yet, we allow this with kids going to international judo tournaments, and some high profile sexual assault cases have resulted. By the way, this kind of abuse is not limited to judo, nor to girls, nor to international athletes, as the Jerry Sandusky case made sadly evident.

The point is that if someone is a bad person, if they give you that creepy vibe, you should stay away from them and keep your kids away, too. Obvious, no? Yet I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say,

I was at a tournament/ club/ meeting this weekend and the people running it are corrupt/ incompetent/ assholes but ....

Wait a minute, there is nothing that comes after that to make it right.

But they're the only game in town? Find a different town. Seriously, we don't have indentured servitude in this country. If your sport is so important to you that you are willing to sacrifice your ethics to pursue it, you ought to be able to move, too.

But they're the national governing body and I have to deal with them? Find a different sport. Ronda did it. I just want to point out that often in life while someone is saying a thing can't be done there is simultaneously a person out there doing it.

But they're like family to me? Well, if it is anything like the Irvin Jiu-Jitsu family, you're family is pretty damn dysfunctional and you'd better find another one.

Three reasons you should get the hell out of situations where you are dealing with people who are incompetent, unethical, corrupt or just generally bad people

1. They will eventually take advantage of you. If they are screwing over people financially, literally or otherwise, your turn will come as surely as leopards don't change their spots.
2. As I wrote on my other blog, you are your associates. You will become like these people. Yes. You will.
3. The bad people drive away the good ones. In part, if someone doesn't know you and they see you hanging around with a group that includes a pedophile, an embezzler and a rapist, they are probably NOT going to judge you on your own merits. The same is true if most of your club is a bunch of rude, egotistical jerks. Even if I know you are a good person, most really good people don't have any tolerance for people who lie, cheat, steal or do any of those other things the Boy Scout honor says not to do. So, if you are hanging around with them, you aren't going to see some of the good guys.

If you are telling yourself it is acceptable to hang out with people you know are bad because they do a martial art, could get you promoted, could help you win a match, could  --- it doesn't matter. Who decides who is a bad person? Well, in the cases I'm talking about, YOU do. My point is that if you find yourself in a situation where you are saying ....

Yes, these people I'm hanging out with are bad people but -

There is no "but". Stop.

As Carly Fiorina said,

Once you sell your soul, no one can buy it back for you. 
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