You Reap What You Sow: Thoughts on Parenting

My friend stopped by to ask if our family was going to enter a team in the Didi Hirsch Alive and Running Walk/Run for Suicide Prevention. It's the sort of thing we would do, except that I'm in Kansas City that weekend with the kids from Gompers and Ronda is in Brazil right now so I don't know what her plans are. Maria is busy being pregnant.

It's possible that Jenn, Julia and Jessica might enter. I will have to ask them. Then, my friend said,

"You are such a good mother. Your children turned out so well. You should write a parenting book."

There are a couple of reasons not to do that. The main one is that I am really busy working on building another company right now. My day job is making games to teach math, and I really like doing it.

Then there is the fact that Julia is only 16. Although she looks like a winner so far, who knows, maybe she will ride a motorcycle through the school gym tomorrow wearing nothing but a shit-eating grin. All indications are to the opposite, but one thing I know for sure is that there are no guarantees in life.  [Julia: If you are reading this - don't even think about it. I will skin you alive and tack your hide over the front door as a reminder to your nieces not to be so stupid. - Love, Mom]

That being said, to a large extent, whether it is parenting, sports or business, you sow what you reap. My children aren't perfect, I'm not perfect and there have been times when I wanted to smack them upside the head.

Throughout their lives, though, I have tried my best to always put my children first. Sometimes it might not have seemed that way to them, if I was flying to Washington instead of helping them with a science project, but I sincerely believed that the money I made for private schools, universities, was more important. I also thought having a role model of a mother who had a career would be a benefit to them.

I suspect that when Ronda was young she resented the fact that I did not fly around the world and coach her, nor did I take out loans to pay for her competition around the world or a lot of other things some other parents did. There was a reason behind that. With three other children, I was not willing to sacrifice all of the time with  them and the amount of money we would lose from me not working.

I had seen families where everyone focused on one child who was supposed to be gifted - and maybe was - to the detriment of the others. It never seemed to turn out well for anyone. The "gifted" child felt pressured but also entitled and the other children felt cheated. The parents are resentful the favored child doesn't appreciate it. I could go on - it's just a hot mess.

Maybe my book would be very short if I ever wrote it - Do what you believe is best for your children, even if it's a lot of work, even if you really would rather do something else at the time.

Actually, that would be pretty much my same advice whether it is winning in judo or building a business. Do what you think is most likely to achieve that goal - even when you're tired, even when you don't feel like it.

If you are right even most of the time that this drill, tournament, proposal or design is what you should be doing, then in the end all of that sowing will pay off.