Thursday, August 23, 2007

Old, Cranky and Annoyed


Warning: Today I am on my soapbox

This week, I had the unfortunate necessity to search for a page on myspace. Although one of my daughters assures me that myspace "is not just used by young people. Some of the people I know with myspace pages are 35," I have discovered something - teenagers do not become any more interesting in cyberspace.

Most of the pages I saw were the electronic equivalent of the ladies' room at your local dive bar that you would not go into unless you were drunk already. There, you can find such great literature as:

"I was so wasted last night. Seriously, I got SO drunk that I went home with Shana."
"Shana is a slut."
"You *&^%ing *@#! "


Clue to young people - anything stupid when you say it out loud is exponentially stupid when you post it where a billion people, including your parents, teachers, coaches and employers can read it. It's not that people of my generation never got drunk, went home with Shana or were Shana. They just generally were not moronic enough to post it on the Internet where Shana's husband and his divorce lawyer could find it.

Second clue to young people (and some old people)
- your personal life is just not all that interesting. No one really cares that you got drunk last night unless you were with Paris Hilton, you were both naked and you have uploaded pictures. The only people who care at all are your friends, most of whom, contrary to popular belief, you will never see again when you are old, which according to my daughter, is approximately at age 35. If you must tell your friends about your latest indiscretion, create a mailing list.

Name it something like, People-who-cared-how-much-I-puked-last-night@yahoogroups.com . Better yet, figure out how to do a mass text message. That is probably the least likely medium to be intercepted by USADA or your parole officer.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha....

I found your blog quite by accident (details below), but I have to chime in and comment that what you say about myspace (and the internet in general) is so true!

College admissions boards and potential employers are actively searching myspace when reviewing candidates.

And... you can tell your kids that there is someone with a myspace who is almost 53 years old!! Here is a link to mine: http://myspace.com/lowgroupmod - I don't think there is any REAL dirt there through...

How I found your blog by accident: My daughter is somewhat dating a guy named Spencer Sharp. He happens to be the son of Hal Sharp's nephew... Spencer sent me an email saying that he had heard his uncle was a bodyguard to the emperor of Japan after WWII, and did I know anything more about him...? So, I was just trying to find a link to a bio I remember reading on the internet about Hal.

The bio seems to have been taken down, but I found your blog because you mentioned Hal in one of your postings...

Anyway, nice thoughts on your blog. Thanks for sharing.

Jeff Bruner

Dr. AnnMaria said...

How funny. You win the prize for most random path to my blog ever.

Actually, I hate to tell you this but Hal was an accountant, I believe of the type they need more of in Iraq overseeing Haliburton. He did, however, win the foreigners' championship and earn a large cup, presented to him by the Emperor of Japan. When he proposed to his wife, he did not have enough money to buy a ring, so he gave her the cup since it was the most valuable thing he owened

laura bee said...

Ann, strange as it seems, I have a MySpace, and I am indeed, even now, hurtling towards my 52nd birthday in 28 days!!!!

Tell those young whippersnappers like Jen what I always say: age and treachery will overcome youth and skill....

Love always,

laura b.

Dr. AnnMaria said...

52! Doesn't seem that long ago we were in the Bahamas celebrating your 50th. Didn't anyone ever tell you to stay away from sharks?

Anonymous said...

Aww myspace days,I miss it so much.