If you're in this position, you have failed to control the match, that's pretty obvious.
What do I mean by controlling the match? At least four things:
- Control the grip. Get the grip that you have when you do your throws, that's kind of the point of having a grip. Don't let the other person have the grip he or she prefers. This is pretty obvious and yet people don't always do it. Personally, I liked to attack one-handed (back before I was old and slow). I would get a grip on one arm and then hit with ko uchi makikomi or drop ippon seoi or soto makikomi.
- Control the tempo. For example, I am not particularly fast. Even before I was ancient, I wasn't particularly fast. When I got one of those people that tried to bounce around like a pinball, I would try to cross grip, get a high grip and pull them down with my weight on them. Most of the time, though, as I mentioned, I preferred to attack one-handed because I was not the world's best standing and if someone else had both hands on me and better standing technique, I might get thrown. This would make me sad. If someone did manage to get say, a sleeve and lapel grip, I would attack immediately. If I couldn't control the grip, I was going to control the tempo. If you let someone get their grip and then move you around, you deserve to be thrown. Silly person.
- Control the proportion of time you spend standing versus in matwork. Notice the throws I mentioned above? All of them go almost immediately to the mat and with soto makikomi you are in a pin when you hit. With ippon seoi it is simple to go right into a pin. Same with ko uchi makikomi. My other favorite throw was tomoe nage, which goes straight into an armbar.
- Control the position you are in on the mat. That is, if all of your techniques are from when your opponent is on all fours and you are on top at their head, then that damn well better be the position you are in. (Also, that's stupid if you only have techniques that you can do from one position - work on that.)