Friday, June 3, 2011

If judo techniques were named by people in karate

My niece just got her brown belt in karate and we were discussing names of the different techniques. In judo we have names like one-armed shoulder throw because you have one of the opponent's arms and throw them over your shoulder. In karate they have techniques with names like Thundering Mantis and Do the Locust because, I guess, they were all named by the human equivalent of the honey badger. ( Okay, first of all, if You think I am kidding try to guess which of these are real karate technique names and which are just shit we made up.

Riding the Staff
Double Darkness
Passing Wind
Mountain of Man
Dance of Death
Song of Death
Crash of the Eagle II
The Lotus of Death
Prance of the Tiger
Toe of Doom

Now, let's try to rename some judo techniques to be more crowd-pleasing. I'm doing this on my iPad in Internet darkness zone so I will have to upload the photos later when I return to civilization. We will see which ones you guessed correctly. Feel free to post your guesses in the comments so we can mock you, I mean , be impressed.

Dance of the Drunken Uncle
Entangling Midget
Snap, Crackle, Pop
Limbo of Destruction
Slipping on the Banana ( some styles call this Dreams of Kwan)
Don't Do this in Prison

Oh just in case you were wondering, every other one of those names was a real karate technique. So, Passing Wind Is a real technique but Toe of Doom is not.


plam said...

Let's see. Entangling midget: kata guruma; snap crackle pop: kani basami; don't do this in prison: tate shio.


Chad Morrison said...

I like most of Plam's guesses, but I will go with kouchi makikomi for the entangling midget. =:>

How about "Oshitoshitoshitphew" for the hair-skimming-the-matt tsurikomi goshi. "That just happened" for deashi barai. Poopbringer for do jime.

plam said...

I like Chad's suggestion better for kouchi makikomi, especially considering that I'm 5'4 and do it all the time.

Noah said...

As it turns out, I'm also a brown belt in karate and none of those techniques sound like karate techniques to me, although I recognize some from Chinese-based systems. We have things like Middle Block and Vertical Fist Punch and Front Stance (Chudan-Uke, Tate-Zuki and Zenkutsu-Dachi, respectively). The most unusually named things we have are things like knife hand and spear hand, and even then you can figure it out. Judo has Mountain Storm (as plam said) and Flight of the Swallow, if I remember the translations correctly.

Dr. AnnMaria said...

Yes there is Mountain Storm and something about a swallow In judo, but we got all the karate names from me niece who is studying for her black belt test

Anonymous said...

Sound like Kenpo terms to me.

Samantha said...

I'm the niece, and yes, it's kenpo karate.

Jorge Almeida said...

Just for the jiggles

Dance of the Drunken Uncle - O-Guruma
Entangling Midget - Ko-uchi-makikomi
Snap, Crackle, Pop - Juji-gatame
Limbo of Destruction - Ura-nage
Slipping on the Banana ( some styles call this Dreams of Kwan) - De- ashi-barai
Don't Do this in Prison - Seio Nage

Anonymous said...

Don't Do this in Prison:

Not a technique, but "the turtle position"

Stephen said...

The moment I saw "Dance of Death" I knew it was Kenpo. Very different from Japanese Karate. I suspect that if we had Chinese Judo we would have the same Chinese names that Chinese Kenpo or Kempo has. ;)