Saturday, December 31, 2016

I have this to say about my daughter, Ronda

Like every mother and daughter on the face of the earth, Ronda and I don't always see eye to eye. However, there is one situation where I am pretty certain.

All of those who have criticized Ronda for taking a loss so to heart, for not just 'shrugging it off' don't understand that what made Ronda so successful is that she cares DEEPLY about winning to an extent that I don't believe the average person can wrap his/her head around.

Caring deeply about something and working your hardest to achieve it doesn't mean you make the right decisions 100% of the time. Wouldn't it be a nicer world if it did?

Those of you who want to criticize Ronda, I just want to point out a few things. First of all, I know her better than you and she is a smart, kind, talented, generous, hard-working person.

Second, I'd like to list some of her accomplishments, and note that she isn't yet 30 years old.

  • Junior World Judo Champion
  • Panamerican Games Judo Gold Medalist
  • First American woman in a decade to win a world cup in judo (and then she went on to win several more)
  • U.S. Open Gold Medalist
  • World Judo Championships Silver Medalist
  • Olympic Bronze Medalist
  • U.S. Senior National Champion
  • First UFC World Champion
  • First woman to make a million dollars in martial arts
  • Co-authored sports book of the year - My Fight/ Your Fight
  • Acted in three movies

That's just a partial list, but let me suggest that someone who has been world level athlete in two sports, written a best seller, acted in movies and made millions of dollars, all before the age of 30 has a pretty darn good track record. On top of that, Ronda has been part of the USADA drug testing since she was 16 years old, never failed a drug test,  always paid her taxes, never been arrested, never been to rehab, has zero divorces, zero DUIs and zero children. While you might think that is to be expected, look how many celebrities (heck, look how many of your neighbors) can say that.

I am very proud of my daughter.

As my other wonderful daughter, Maria, told her ,

"We love you just as much 10 minutes after every fight as we did in the 10 minutes before."

Edit: Since so many people asked me "What do you mean zero children? Children aren't a bad thing." I agree.  I have four. I meant that she did not have children before she was able and willing to raise them. 


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Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. De Mars,

My name in Brandon Stevens and I live on the Hopi Reservation In Keams Canyon Arizona. I have been a big fan of your daughters, I first saw Ronda on the front page of black belt magazine when she won her silver in the Olympics. I have watched her fights since, all of them. I too am a Martial Artist (more like starving artist lol) I have been in since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I only hold a green belt in Tang Soo Do, but fighting is a passion of mine. I would give anything in the world to train under you and your daughter. When she had her 1st lost last year against Miss Holm, I had written her a letter and the letters were supposed to been delivered to you on Thanksgiving day. I hope that she got all the letters that all of us had sent. Would love to hear from y'all. Tell Ronda to hang in there and keep her head up. She is still the Champ in my book.

Much Love, Much Respect!

Sincerely Yours,

Brandon Stevens

Evan Luna said...

Even when Ronda was completely dominating fights I told everyone her coach was horrible, and she would never reach her potential until she got with a great standup coach. This is a lot of seemingly random points, but really, Ronda fought just the way she was trained. Even when her coach throws a punch at her, he throws it to the side of her head so she doesn't even have to build up any reaction to get through her padwork. And she was told to never take a backstep so she typically stayed in range with her hands down to get hit. Her legs started to move with her body wanting to get out of that danger zone, but her will is so built up to never go back she just stayed in place and kept getting hit. Another thing that explains a lot about her is that her body type is kapha pitta. That body type usually deals with stress by either becoming angry at someone else or completely going into seclusion away from everyone. That body type is also known to hold onto bad relationships for too long just like her with all her crazy exes and her coach. Even though everyone told her it was bad, she hung on. But the thing for her to do is ENJOY martial arts again when she's ready. "A warrior does what he or she loves."

I've trained seemingly ordinary people to become national champions and world competitors in kickboxing, but the wrong coach can turn gold into rust.

Maug said...

Ronda is awesome, period. I have the same personnality type, the fieldmarshall and people with this personnality type often face similar types of challenges accross their life, such as not being able to make a move without half of the planet having an opinion about it or the bullying/harassment/stalking because you didn't flatter someone's emotional comfort.

I don't know what happened to Ronda lately but i hope she's not too harsh with herself. Fieldmarshalls tend to internalise failure and really have hard time dealing with it.

I also heard her home had been vandalised. I hope she's fine and that the culprits will be found quickly. This is just absolutely appalling. That "live and let live" society is getting worse and worse.

Mike Landers said...

Congratulations to Travis Brown for leaving the Glendale Fighting Club.

All MMA fighters not named Ronda who moved to coach Edmond Tarverdyan obtained losing records for their troubles: Baszler, Guyida, Duke, Shafir, Ellenberger, Brown. And their fighting looked worse after they moved.

Ronda's former conditioning coach says:

“The way [Edmond] talked to Ronda— wow, what I witnessed!” Frincu said. “The way he talked to everybody, going on these rants. Cursing about how terrible she is. I didn’t feel physically safe. I’m a guy who can take care of himself, but I felt uncomfortable. The next morning I took a plane and I left. It’s all emotional. There’s no logic in that camp. And that makes it very unstable. It’s like walking on eggshells. It’s terrible. It’s so stressful to be in that camp. It’s supposed to be hard work. But it has to be rational. There has to be a plan. Everything there is rage and anger.”

(excerpted from )

Ronda became a fighting legend because of:

A) Hard work/ elite judo and grappling training/ ability/ very hard work/ family/ something beyond heart and grit

or was it...

B) Magic and Pixie Dust

or was it...

C) Edmond Tarverdyan

I am going with A even though sometimes I think B looks reasonable.


The Best Deserve The Best

Unknown said...

Whatever she decides to do from here, her true fans will love her always. I don't want her to fight anymore. I don't want to see your baby girl Get hit it in the face. It's simple. You did an amazing job against odds, in your life and as a mom. Dr.AnnaMarie for President 2020! Please?

Brooke said...

This is a very good post, thank you for sharing your story about your daughter and her accomplishments. I think you'd enjoy some other stories and essays about family if its okay I post a few here: Family Essay

Zahidul Hasan said...

Thank you for sharing this amazing post. I really enjoyed reading, Its really worth reading.

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