Thursday, January 10, 2013

Bitch-slapping, Birth and Arm bars

It was a bit confusing today. I had received an email from a TV show asking if they could interview me on Wednesday morning. I wrote back and said that I don't do mornings but I'd let them in to do the two hours of setting up lights, etc. and then be interviewable around 11. Later, I got another email from a TV show producer saying having looked at the available space at my place they had decided to do the interview at Ronda's in the afternoon on Wednesday.

SO .... at 9 a.m., the doorbell rings and it's the TV people. They set up - outdoors, it turned out, and did the interview for a few hours. There is generally a lot of repetition in these interviews but this was the first time anyone asked me this question.

"So, who would you like to bitch-slap?"

I shared this with my husband, who made no comment. When I asked him why he didn't even want to know the answer, he replied,

"I've never really been interested in the whole bitch-slap concept."

Fifteen years of marriage left him confident it wasn't him and that was good enough. (In case you are more curious, you can find the answer here. It's this woman. My reaction when reading her article, and this is a direct quote, was "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.") I doubt that will make it on to HBO.

I feel obligated to point out that the ten-year-old on the left should have the arm locked against her chest, like her partner in crime on the right does. 
The interviewer also asked me why I taught my daughter something so painful as an arm bar. I told him that most of the time a person taps so nothing is hurt but their pride. He mentioned watching Ronda dislocate Miesha Tate's arm and said that looked like it hurt pretty much. I said yes, but at the moment the adrenaline rush keeps it from hurting too bad, and although it's sore the next day, it's nothing like childbirth. He said,
Come on, you've got to be kidding me?! Giving birth is worse than getting arm barred? I always hear women say how painful it was but seriously, it can't be that bad."
As someone who has both been arm barred and has given birth four times, I guarantee you that child birth is more painful. Giving birth is more like being arm barred over and over for 45 minutes.

After the interview, I turned back on my cell phone to see that I had three messages from Ronda. I called her and she said,
"Mom, why aren't you here? There is a film crew at my house and they're supposed to interview you."
I told her I was just done being interviewed but she said,
"Now, welcome to my life. That was a DIFFERENT film crew for a DIFFERENT show on a DIFFERENT network. Now you have to come over here. "
The second interviewer didn't asked me about bitch-slapping or childbirth. He did ask me a lot of questions about working out with Ronda when she was younger and whether it was true that I randomly tried to arm bar her - and then she randomly tried to throw me, which I personally think should be considered elder abuse and a chargeable offense but unfortunately, they had run out of film by then so I have no tangible evidence.


dsimon3387 said...

That Tiger Lilly crap really bugs me as well... I know from your posts we agree on how to raise kids... I find that many notions society perpetuates have to be questioned daily.

One of the things that happens (I don't know if you have had this) Is that our kids are really confident. Not confidant that they will get over but confidant that if they apply oneself they will be supported on this end. I was a crazy kid and refuse to be a hypocrite with mine.

Nelson said...

Hello Dr. Ann Maria! I just want to say how big of a fan I am of your blog, your family, and your general bad-assness. If I ever see you in person, expect a high-five, fist bump, and a thumbs up.

Dr. AnnMaria said...


I agree with you. Sometimes my kids are a little too confident for my taste when I want them to do something differently, but that comes with the territory


Thank you. I'll look forward to it

Old guy said...

Hey Dr. Ann Marie-I've been a fan of your blog for a while. Good job with your brood. The problem with kids is they are all individuals but I like it that way. It appears some people don't. Now for the confession...I practice master’s judo. And, no, there is no way on God's green earth that it compares to real world championship judo. But it is fun, gets me out of the house and exercising. But, alas, I've seen tapes of my fights and it is a long way from the “real thing”. I can only hope that the rest of the weezers and geezers understand that!