Monday, March 31, 2014

Seriously, just who do you think you are?

Warning, this blog contains language and opinions that might disturb you if you are easily offended. And I don't give a shit.

 My children think their late father was perfect, but that was not always the case. Back when we were just co-workers, I was an industrial engineer assigned to the area where he was manager to look into some scheduling problems. It turned out that the production line had been shut down because we ran out of a particular solvent. The solvent had a short shelf life so they didn't order too much at once or it would go bad and be tossed out. I asked him what it costs. He said it must be expensive because this wasn't the first time it had happened. He sent someone to find out - apparently no one had asked this question before - and it turned out they were shutting the factory down to keep from ordering too much of something that cost $9 a gallon. I started laughing and Ron went off on the guy, yelled at him, told him he was going to be fired - this was a little milquetoast type of guy and he left the office in tears. After he left, I turned to Ron and said,
Mr. Rousey, that was wrong. It wasn't that man's fault that not enough was ordered or the line was shut down. You had no right to treat him like that.
He said to me,
Who are you to tell me what to do? I run this plant and you're just a little piss ant engineer.
I said,
That doesn't make any difference. I'm right.
If that was all of the story, then I would have had one fewer husband and at least two fewer children. We continued the tour of the plant I had come for and as we walked through one area, we ran across the same man again, he looked like he wanted to bolt and run. Ron went up to him and apologized and that impressed me, because it takes some integrity to admit when you are wrong, but it would have been better if he hadn't done it in the first place.

I tell this story because it has three points.
  1. It is not okay to treat people badly just because you can.
  2. Even a generally good person screws up on occasion
  3. When you screw up you make it better by apologizing, even if you can't undo the harm completely.
Lately, I have seen too many people acting as if they have the right to be rude and disrespectful. They're never disrespectful and rude to ME. One reason is because I would either laugh in their faces or tell them to go fuck themselves. No, they are rude to people's assistants, housekeepers, waiters, desk clerks - people, like that man in the factory, who aren't making much money, aren't in a position to really stand up for themselves either because they need the job or they just aren't the type to speak up.

Let me talk to you people for a minute - just who the fuck do you think you are and where do you get off acting like that? Do you think because you make more money it's okay to speak condescendingly to someone, to be rude and insulting? What gives you that right? Because you work so hard and everyone ought to kowtow to you? Do you know who works hard? That single mom who works two minimum wage jobs and takes the bus an hour each way works hard and then she comes home and feeds her kids and cleans her house. She doesn't need to put up with your shit.

And most of you people DON'T work all that fucking hard. You're in the position you're in because you won the sperm and ovum lottery - you were born into a family with money, education, who just happened to be in the United States, and so you got all kinds of rights and privileges to start out with.

Then, there are the people who are with someone with money or a position of power. I'm not talking about two people who started out with nothing and built it up together. I'm talking about Bob's trophy wife half his age that he dumped that first woman for. If Bob makes $10,000,000 a year, you have maids, a nanny. Basically your job description is "I fuck Bob", so maybe you realize that and treat the gardener like dirt to feel better about yourself. Stop it!

Athletes - yes, you do train hard to be at the top of your game and many of you take a lot of hits, literally, for it. It's hard and the odds of making it are tiny. You know what else is hard - being in the military or in law enforcement getting your ass shot at for very little money, working in the mines getting black lung disease. In short, you are blessed if you are a successful athlete and you ought to remember that every day.

Then there is the entourage. It is only because I am trying to follow my own advice about treating people respectfully that I don't show up with a brick one day and start hitting you people. If you're at an event, in a location, because you are somebody's friend and start acting like an ass to the people working there, seriously who the fuck do you think you are? At least Ms. Trophy Wife fulfills some kind of purpose - "I fuck Bob and support the economy through my Gucci and Tiffany purchases". What does the entourage do? You kiss Bob's ass. Where were all of you "friends" when Bob was working his way up with the first Mrs. Bob, anyway, before he became the owner of Bob's Real Estate Dynasty or Heavyweight Champion of the Bobs ?

I don't care if you are the owner of a software giant or the woman who came into work this morning and cleaned my hotel room in the middle of a blizzard - all work has dignity and all people deserve to be treated with respect - unless maybe they really, really piss me off, and a few of you are getting there ...


dave oznavad said...

right on Dr AnnMaria, power to the people!!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog.

I make a little over 10 an hour, I'm uneducated (although I'm going to school right now) and have grown up with less than rich circumstances, monetarily, genetically, and environmentally.

I bring this up because there's a HUGE satisfaction for me to read someone of your status (degrees, published, athlete, etc. etc (all at once mind you)) to have the same view points as me. We're both doing something right.

I always judged people on the way they treated their friends vs. not their friends. It saved me a LOT of time. :-)

Thanks for your blog. The affirmation is a great feeling, plus I learned a new word which I already forgot. Oh yeah, it's 'milquetoast'. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Sound like you are enjoying your new exposure to the entertainment biz..

mike ripple said...

Mrs. DeMars,
You are so correct. After being here 6 decades or so, I find my everyday tasks and interactive endeavors predicated by thoughts dictated by the 'golden rule'. I find that as an older man I am much more considerate of others than I was during my younger years. That doesn't mean that my overall contempt for the masses in general has diminished. It hasn't. I believe the world to be filled with more dumb asses, assholes, and pussies than I ever could have imagined when I was young.
When reading your rants, I find myself intrigued and wondering who might be at the spears tip of the tirades. I know you despise reality TV especially after the unfair portrayal of young Rousey, but the fact is that your life as well as the lives of all who are in the slightest bit dear to you have become a reality series of sorts.
It is just one of the things that comes with fame. Most people don't have 1st hand knowledge of the inner workings of an 'entourage'.
I don't have a TV. I have never owned an entertainment center. I don't own a computer. (I do, however, own a smartphone.) I read quite a bit....mostly antiquarian editions.
Three years ago I stumbled upon an article about an armbar wizard and the rest is history.
I didn't know what an armbar was three years ago. Now, I can tell you the top ten in every weight class in the UFC from memory. I genuinely love the sport of MMA and continue to inform myself on a daily basis.
As much as i am endeared to the purity of BJJ or the technical prowess exhibited by champion judokas, my interest always resorts back to the human element...the personalities...the reason I was initially captivated and pulled into this world of unarmed combat.
So....i am anxiously awaiting the next installment (or the one after that) so that I may be given the opportunity to read more (either directly or indirectly) about what I like to call "The Life of Rousey"
(I know you remember the Life of Riley) because after reading and trying to digest all the BULLSHIT out there written about young Rousey, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth can come from nowhere but her mother.
Thank you for listening...

Mike R.

Anonymous said...

Yeah! You tell them Mighty Marie!

You have been my hero since 1984. And you still are.

Its seems our society has become a study of being rude from the comfort of your home. You would think people would be more respectful. Yet now, it seems everything can and will be used against you in a court of law even more than ever. I have noticed rude people will set up situations to both record and sue.
All in the name of the mighty dollar.

I'm sure you are a master of dealing with all kinds of ass hats aka rude people now. I shudder to think about the level of jerks you all have to deal with now that you are known. I love knowing that you laugh in the face of rude people and tell them to go fuck themselves. I love that you can arm bar a jerk in seven seconds flat if you had to.

The hate and general rudeness I see all over the internet its a total turn off for me on ever being famous. I never assume just because someone is working that they are rich. Bills get bigger the more you do.

I agree, you can't complete that circle of respect if the person you are being nice to is being not only rude, but trying to sell you on the lie you are less, because they are more. Even when people are sucking up, you can always tell because the rudeness seeps out somewhere. I see it every day.

To me, every time I have watched a rude person operate, its always in a environment where that person thinks I can fire her, or have her arrested. Its usually a woman that is fatter than me, or a guy who thinks I am ugly, weak, or stupid. They will watch me, study me, and think they got me all figured out. And usually sell themselves on the lie at some point that I'm crazy or retarded or both. Based usually on my appearance, hygiene, time, place, or habits.

I've noticed disrespect comes from an attitude oh I have it worse than you, or I have it better than you. I have noticed disrespectful attitude usually starts in a home by parents who are disrespectful to themselves, and their family. Its like a toxin that spills out with the bad behaviors over generation.

It seems a lover loves, and a hater hates, regardless of class, gender, orientation, race, and geography.

Hey I'm glad you vent your mind here. Keep up the good work!

Jason Brown said...

Your shit make me laugh. I gotta say, I love grapplers. So many times I have been at job interviews and looked at the guy whom is eying me with contempt and thought to myself, "Jay, you could so just reach out and put a Guillotine on his weak ass." I am not a big guy, but anyhow, I think any kind of grappling gives a person a strong sense of self, and I really appreciate your sentiments. I have been a blue collar guy most of my life; started working at 13 in Nebraska in the corn fields, and it has never ceased to amaze me the amount of disrespect you get for getting dirty at your job. I have chosen to stay dirty because its honest and pure, plus I love climbing trees.

As silly as it seems, Bane for the last Batman movie sums it up when he asks the one guy, "Oh you gave me money, at the means you own me?"