Today, I thought of two others:
- If Bob is more interested in "your" than you - run in the other direction because, as your mama can tell you, he is NOT your friend. What I mean is those people who want to come over and play your Wii, stay at your beach house, meet your friends who are popular or famous but can't be bothered to visit you in the hospital, pick you up at the airport or meet you for lunch - those people are just using you. When Ronda is staying in a fabulous suite at some five-star hotel there are dozens of people who have time to hang out with her. When she had knee surgery and needed someone to make sure she drank enough water, did her physical therapy and took her antibiotics, most of those people were nowhere to be found. Despite the fact that they have very busy lives of their own, her sisters made it a point to be there, proving yet again my belief that the only people who are really "like family" are your actual family.
- If the last 10 interactions you've had with Bob have all been "take", you need to kick him to the curb. All good relationships are give and take, and it evens out over time. It doesn't have to be material things. For example, we recently had a Kickstarter campaign, and a few people tweeted out multiple times to their followers, blogged about it, sent out the link to everyone in their email list. It can be picking you up when your flight gets in at 1 a.m. It can be stopping you from making a really stupid mistake. Years ago, a teammate of mine insisted that I help her keep her very drunk friend trapped in the women's restroom. Drunkette was planning on sleeping with this really cute guy, but she also happened to be engaged to someone who would probably kill both of them. Plus, you shouldn't sleep around on your fiance (duh).
After the umpteenth request from them for MORE assistance, one of my lovely daughters sent an email saying, 'Dr. De Mars has given you a lot of support over the past year. How about you back her project on Kickstarter?'
That was the last time I heard from that person. Now I am kicking myself that I didn't have her send the same email to a dozen other people.