Saturday, April 4, 2015

My mini-memoir

I worked late on the games last night, both updates for our current games and bug fixes in Forgotten Trail, which is under development. So, I got up at 11 am. I heard the phone ringing around 10, but I just turned over and went back to sleep.

This got me thinking about how differently I saw our lives during some of the years covered in My Fight/ Your Fight . Not that anything Ronda and Maria said was inaccurate, it was just a different perspective.

It's been said that

Working mothers talk about sleep the way starving people talk about food. 

What I remember most about the years when Ron was ill was how very tired I was all of the time. I had three children aged 8 years and under, a full time job as a professor, a husband in intensive care and a second job as a statistical consultant.

When we had moved to North Dakota, bought the house, enrolled the kids in school, we were counting on two incomes. All of a sudden, we had one, plus a mountain of medical bills.

So, I became the first and second income. Also, a de facto single parent, since Ron was in the hospital. Then, Ron died, and I was an actual single parent.

As a professor on the track to tenure, not only was I teaching classes and meeting with students, but also writing grants, conducting research, analyzing data, writing up articles for academic journals. Also, taking kids to swim practice, soccer practice, track practice and piano lessons. Also, teaching extra classes in the summer and overload (more than the normal number) classes for extra money. Also, writing grants and doing data analysis for clients. Also occasionally cleaning the house, cooking, correcting homework, going to parent teacher conferences, doing the income taxes, paying bills and all of the other general life stuff.

That's a lot of "also".

When I met Dennis, I weighed about 30 pounds less than I did when I was competing - and I certainly wasn't overweight as a competitor.

After we were married, I must have slept 10 hours a night for the first six months. I'm not kidding.

While you hear a lot of start-up CEOs bragging about getting by on six hours sleep or less,  while I might work sixteen hours a day, I make a real effort to get eight hours sleep a night. I don't have a huge house or a fancy car because I put a lot back into product development and marketing. The one luxury I allow myself, though, is a full night's sleep.

The book is good, well-written and a good story about a good person with a lot of good advice. Personally, I found it a fascinating example of what they say in family therapy, which is that the same family does not equal the same experience. Think for a minute of the experiences the youngest child in a family of twelve has versus the oldest child or the mother.

So ... that's my pondering for the day. Have to run to granddaughter's birthday party and then catch a flight to see my mom. Hopefully I can fit in watching Fast and Furious 7 with the adult family members before I fly out.

Random: If you like this blog, you might be interested in our company newsletter with articles by me and Maria Burns Ortiz. Email  to be on our mailing list and you can get edition 2 that comes out on Tuesday.

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Anonymous said...

One important lesson to learn here is that, despite your long list of great accomplishments (which you repeat a few times a week), you're still the parent who told Ronda how stupid her idea was to pursue MMA, from which all of her successes have now flowed.

Her greatest successes in life have come by explicitly ignoring your sage advice.

The take away is: Don't ever let anyone tell you what success or winning takes or requires. Anyone. They're extrapolating from tea leaves. Chart a path your own way. No matter how amazing and knowledgeable that person considers themselves.

Dr. AnnMaria said...

And yet, inexplicably, you continue to read it

Ventus Sina said...

errm... if we would accept that anonymous post meaning, it would mean we should not take that very "advice" as true, right?

Especially coming from an anonymous who has nothing at all to back that up or support it with - at all.

Not to mention any kind of accomplishment to list.