Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Count Your Blessings

Someone on a mailing list on startups sent  a link to this article:

8 Things to Remember When Everything is Going Wrong

It made me smile several times while reading it, and that alone is worth passing it on. These tips weren't written just for startups, although having started work 14 hours ago, I can certainly relate all of these to my work life.

My favorite was of the 8 things was this:

Everything in life is temporary. Every time it rains, it stops raining.

Notice that I said I started work 14 hours ago. I didn't work for 14 hours straight because after about 10 hours, my husband and I went for a walk along Ocean Avenue, just as the sun was setting over the Pacific Ocean.

We talked about this idea that everything is temporary. There are people I knew who were in the Olympics who ended up barely scraping by while others who lost in the Olympic Trials went on to have wonderful careers and wonderful lives. If you had looked at them on any one particular day, you might have thought, "This person is a winner and that one is a loser." 

And yet, if you looked at the same people three years later, you might find the situation completely reversed.

To their 8 things, I will add my own, ninth, suggestion - Count your blessings.

If you had looked in on my life 20 years ago, you would have thought I was in a sad state. My husband had died. I was working three jobs to support my three young children and I was always tired. There were medical bills, funeral bills, tuition bills, tax bills.

Yes, it was hard. As I was thinking about it today, though, sad as it was, I have been truly blessed. Not once, but TWICE I have had the great good fortune to be married for years to a man I loved.

Having a good marriage is one of the keys to happiness. Most people wish for it once and I got it twice. Certainly, everything is temporary, so appreciate your blessings now.


Anonymous said...

I came here looking for some inspiration as my life isn't looking good and I'm feeling totally lost and I find this post. Thank you!

Brody P said...

Hi Ann Maria just read your blog and was thinking the same thing. People really have to stop looking at the dark side of life as a bad thing. I mean stuff happens. I was born with a physical disability at 11 months old and was very lucky to have incredibly supportive parents. I am 22 years old now and live in an apartment and I am going to college. I look at people who have it way worse than i do, they are wheelchair bound and cannot look after themselves. Not because they don't want to, they just can't. The amazing thing though, i have never met a person in that situation that not did not have a smile on his or her face. Even though i got the short end of the stick i tell my mom it could be a lot worse. I don't have anything to be ungrateful for and i'm not expecting anybody to feel sorry for me.

Anonymous said...

Message for Ronda and family:

Her words….

I’m re-reading your book in order to better understand how you are processing this experience. The truth is that there is no one else on this entire planet that knows your experience at this point in time. That kind of pressure is beyond anything any of us can fathom. The physical information that you’re receiving as a result of a fight is something only you can feel, the pressure of millions of people watching you is something only you can feel and the hurt and heartache that you’re experiencing is something we can all sympathize with, but none of us can actually feel. You’re the only person in the world who feels like you do right now and whatever it is – it is normal and understandable.

Nothing has changed. Everything that you’ve ever said about MMA, Judo, women, image, about being the best in the world is still right, is still relevant, and the world is a better place because of your choosing to tell it like it is. No bullshit. This is what people hang on to. In case you haven’t noticed, the world is still more interested in talking to you than they are to Holly Holm. That must be a first?

She may have the belt right now, but it is temporary, you know that. I’ve been trying to force myself to read her posts on social media and listen to her interviews and I get a physical reaction, a sting, whenever I am forced to read about her experience fighting you. I do this because I am trying to understand how she really believes that she ‘beat’ you. She did not beat you. The only one great enough for that, is you. Her words… are empty. They do not resonate with me, they do not resonate with millions of girls around the planet. They resonate with a handful of people who are in her circle.

The concern on your Mom’s face must’ve hurt more than the injuries from the fight. No matter how hardcore a mama bear can be, that fight would be cause for concern. One of the things that I really appreciated about your book is how prevalent your Mom is in it. And like she says “there is no history of anything happening until it does. And then there is.’ Her words… are filled with lived experience, passion and love.

It would be amazing if you got the things from your book that we get. I know it must feel fucked up living in a world where you don’t have the Belt. It must be a grieving process. But, don’t forget the Ronda that wrote the book. Don’t forget her words. Her words carry so much meaning, hope, logic and it really helped to ground me when I felt like I was flailing. I’m sorry that you’re going through this right now. You have given this world a gift. The difference is when you win, we win and when you lose, we do not feel that loss because you have given us so much good to hang on to, so much hope knowing that you will come back stronger than ever. Your experience is something we all feel apart of because of your choosing to share it with us.

Sorry, Dr. de Mars for using your blog as the way to share my words with your daughter. I'm glad that your posts are moderated, there may be a chance that this is only shared with you (which would've been my preference) I feel silly reaching out to a celebrity who may never read this, but I have a daughter who has a fierce and determined spirit, too. We need more AnnMarias and Rondas... Keep on inspiring