Wednesday, October 18, 2017

You're a creep. Die mad about it

First of all, I stole the line, "Die mad about it" from a woman on twitter, @beauty_jackson who, when people were posting reasons they used birth control for medical conditions said,

"I use birth control for sex, a human activity. I want sex and I don't want children. Die mad about it."

I found her attitude immensely useful for a variety of positions I have no intention of changing and that seem to make some people angry. I would like to pass on this advice to this group of people in general, and a particular subgroup, which is men who have been told that their behavior makes certain women uncomfortable or is felt by many women and men to be inappropriate.

I have witnessed this personally a few times and heard about it many more times, from both the men involved and observers. It goes like this:

  1. A man, let's call him Alf, makes some comment, physical gesture or touches a woman. He does this more than once to more than one woman.
  2. The women involved and/ or the witnesses tell people in authority - school principal, administrators, teacher, whoever.
  3. The authorities impose some sanction - put a note in his file, put him on probation, require him to attend some training.
  4. Alf is outraged. He points out that he has not committed rape, that not everyone in the building was offended, that he knows other women who are not uncomfortable with said behavior and DEMANDS that the action be retracted.

Let me explain something, Alf. You don't get to tell people if you make them feel uncomfortable or not. If you stand close to a woman and are touching her and she twists away, asks you to stop or takes your hand and firmly shoves it away, then tells you that you made her uncomfortable by doing that - don't fucking do it again. Don't tell her that Sissy Lou isn't made uncomfortable by it. First of all, for all you know, she is, unless she specifically told you otherwise.  Secondly, that's irrelevant. THIS woman right next to you told you she doesn't like it when you blow in her ear during matwork.

If one woman says she feels uncomfortable by your behavior in a judo class (or any class), that is bad enough but if multiple women complain about you, it is definitely not them, it's you. I've taught judo since I was a teenager - over 40 years. I've taught college since I was in my twenties, over 30 years. Women are embarrassed to complain. They don't want anyone to think they can't hang with the big boys in judo class or engineering school. It is RARE that a woman speaks up and if women have complained about you multiple times, you are a creep. We all know you. You are that slimy guy who makes remarks you think are funny but are insulting to women. You make comments about women's bodies while they are working out. If you wouldn't say, "Look at that nice ass" about the guy you are working out with, don't say it about a woman. If you wouldn't post up suggestive pictures of men in the locker room, don't post them of women.

So girls quit coming to practice. Sometimes their boyfriends or just other guys in general do, too, because they kind of feel like jerks for not speaking up. The other guys think you are a creep, too. They talk about you but no one wants to say anything to you, no one wants to be viewed as a troublemaker or a wimp or can't take a joke.

Well, almost no one.  Yeah, I'm that bitch who says,

"Cut it the fuck out right now!"

When you get all huffy and say,

"She didn't say she minded."

not knowing that she has actually said to me, privately, that she very much minded, but did not want to "cause trouble",  I'm the bitch that says,

"Well, *I* mind. Don't fucking do it again."

Yeah, maybe I'm a bitch but you're a creep. Saying you didn't intend to offend people and make them uncomfortable doesn't change the fact that a) you did it and b) you feel justified to continue your behavior because YOU didn't feel uncomfortable doing it, it was not intended to embarrass or harass people (which I don't believe, but it's irrelevant), and c) judo clubs, places of employment, public institutions all have the right to eject people who don't meet their standards.

Getting accused of harassment is kind of like a DUI. It never happens to most people but it's possible that it could happen to a person once as an isolated incident or mistake. If it happens multiple times, you got a problem and I will call you on your bullshit. So, yeah, you're a creep.

To Alf, and just to people in general who don't like me because I refuse to back down when I see something happening that I know is wrong, who think women should not speak up - I'm not changing.

Die mad about it.






Thursday, October 12, 2017

Arm bars, teaching judo to teenagers and me

Hey,  guess what I'm doing in Urbana, Illinois tomorrow?

Brief pause while you look for Urbana on Google maps. Okay, back now? Good.



Here's the details, or deets as my young people would call it:

Kokushi Midwest Judo
 122 W. Main St
Urbana, IL 61821 

Friday, October 13, 8 -10 pm

I'm going to discuss two things I know fairly well - armbars and teaching judo to teenagers.

Most judo clubs around the country have a large proportion of children 12 and under, a small number of adults 35 and older and an even smaller number of teenagers  and young adults. The exceptions to that tend to be clubs focused on national and international competition.

Gompers Judo is all students 12-17 years old and always has been, because we are housed at a middle school.

The first part of the clinic will be
  • A couple of conditioning ideas 
  • A couple of games
  • Teaching basics without getting banged up

The second part of the clinic will be:
  • Armbars from different positions
  • Transition to armbars
  • Combinations with armbars

The third, very short part, will be on organizing to maintain interest
  • Instagram!
  • How teenagers are not little kids
  • Using assistant instructors, both adults and teens
  • Extras - team dinners, trips and the box of things
The cost is $20 to 7 Generation Games. Each registration will pay for all of our games for a student at a low-income school


Saturday, September 30, 2017

Fight for the Cure - Riverside Girls Judo Tournament & Clinic with ME!

If you know me at all, you know I almost never do clinics because I am busy. In the last 10 days, I've been working in 3 states and 9 cities, so, it's damn near impossible to fit any more judo on my schedule than teaching at Gompers Middle School once a week.

However, Brian Money and the Riverside Youth Judo Club do such good work, I could not say no.  TOMORROW - yes, Sunday, October 1 - there is an all women and girls tournament in Riverside.



100% of the money raised goes to a local charity that supports people with breast cancer and their families. Registration is 7:30 - 8:30 for special needs and kids under 12, 8-9 am for teens and 8:30 - 9:30 for adults. The tournament starts at 10:00

Also, everyone who competed or volunteered in the tournament can attend a FREE clinic with me. Well, free if you competed in or helped with the tournament. Otherwise, it's $25.

  • The first clinic is for kids 6-12, from 3-4 pm - because this is kids, there will be games and immaturity . Most of the immaturity will probably come from me

  • The second clinic is for ages 13 and up (so, of course there will be arm bars) from 4-5pm

It says online in some places that the clinic is for females only, but, in theory it is for everyone. Since competitors get first crack, it may fill to capacity with girls only.

Either way, it should be a lot of fun. Anyone is welcome to show up and watch.


 When I'm not teaching judo, I make awesome video games that teach math and history and are fun to play. You should check them out. Some of them are even free. Whether you have a Mac, Windows, iPad or android, we've got you covered.


http://www.7generationgames.com/products/

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Randomest blog and a recipe for elk stew

Unless you know me well, you are probably unaware that one job I had while getting my MBA was teaching cooking lessons at the local community center, because, at the time, cooking was one of my few marketable skills. Programming had yet to become as in-demand as it is now.

Recently, my lovely daughter, Ronda, married someone who likes to hunt and the last time I was visiting her, she gave me a cooler full of elk meat. I made a stew with it and it was delicious. Healthy, too, since elk is one of the highest protein meats you can eat and it even makes your vegetables taste good.




Since it is the weekend and 1:15 am and I am done working, I thought I would give you all the recipe for elk stew. It is basically beef stew but with elk meat. 

For those of you who think I should stick to posting about judo, know this - if you are cutting weight, elk has less than half the calories of beef. You CAN have your steak and make weight, too.

Step 1: Shoot an elk.

Step 2:  Make a stew

Ingredients
1 lb elk steak
2 potatoes
2 carrots
1 onion
1/2 cup flour
1 cup rice
Pepper, salt & other seasonings
Beef stew mix
Olive oil

  • Cut the meat into 1/2" cubes
  • Coat in flour mixture with seasonings added. I'm big on using whatever is in the cupboard for stew, so I added salt, pepper, something called Grains of Paradise and another spice called Slap Yo Mama that I got from my friend James Wall, who has has judo clubs in Orlando, FL and Denham Springs, LA
  • Coat a pan with olive oil and brown the meat over medium heat
  • Chop vegetables
  • Put all of the ingredients except rice in a stew pot over high heat, including the rest of the flour mixture . Heat to boiling.
  • Once it's boiling, add the rice.
  • Cover and cook about 20 minutes. By then, all of the rice and vegetables should be soft.

It tastes amazing.

You're welcome.



 When I'm not giving recipe tips, I make awesome video games that teach math and history and are fun to play. You should check them out. Some of them are even free. Whether you have a Mac, Windows, iPad or android, we've got you covered.


dead guy in Aztech games

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

How Facebook Can Be Good for You

Supposedly, social media is making us all into self-absorbed depressed dirt bags. 


While trying to paint the most beautiful possible picture of our lives we simultaneously are depressed because everyone else seems to have this picture perfect life.

This may be the case for young people but for me it's rather the opposite. Facebook has been a great influence in getting me to chill.

Can you believe we've been married 20 years?
Unlike some of my friends, who seem to live there, I drop into Facebook maybe a few minutes a day, if that. As a consequence, I don't have a huge number of Facebook friends, and about every week I get a friend request from someone I haven't seen in 10, 20 or 30 years.

So, I see that kid who cried his heart out over losing a match at the junior nationals is now graduated from college, working as an engineer and about to be a father for the first time.

That kid in college who didn't seem to have any direction and struggled to study enough to graduate now has a good job, a mortgage and a wife.

People who I did not know were gay have now been married to someone of the same sex for years.

People change jobs, change spouses, change countries, change genders.

All of my friends, competitors and teammates from when I was young and one of the top athletes in the world are now like me, older, slower, greyer. No matter how much everyone drooled over him or her as a teenager, they are all old enough to be to be the grandparent of teenagers.

My point is that, good or bad, things don't stay the same, and you can't always predict who is on their way up and who is going down. Most of the "cool kids" seemed to turn out pretty middle of the road.

Overall, almost everyone I know has had it pretty good, whether they realize it or not. We all live in developed countries, safe from war, hunger. We all have friends, almost all have family, hobbies.

So, for me, anyway, Facebook is a good reminder to chill. It gives a condensed time line of people's lives and reminds me that whatever I am stressing about today I probably won't even remember 10 years from now.

P.S. Our Kickstarter campaign was successful and if you backed us, thank you very, very much.


 When I'm not ranting about life, I make awesome video games that teach math and history and are fun to play. You should check them out. Some of them are even free. Whether you have a Mac, Windows, iPad or android, we've got you covered.


http://www.7generationgames.com/products/

Thursday, August 31, 2017

How Do You Want People to See You?

As you may have heard, my lovely daughter got married this weekend. It was a beautiful wedding and she was very happy.

 

 She can write about that on her own website that should be up eventually. That wasn't what I wanted to talk about, or only tangentially.

I met a very brilliant photographer at her wedding and he said he'd like to take my picture. Not right then, though, he wanted me to think about how I would like to be seen. He said,

I want to take a picture that will make you cry.

I laughed at that because he obviously doesn't know me. For me to cry, pretty much, someone close to me has to die, and maybe not even then. When I say things like that, some people get outraged, which puzzles me because really, what's it to them. People I don't even know will say stupid things like,

"You think you're so tough! I bet I could make you cry! You're just an old woman!"

First of all, no, no and yes, what's your point? Why do people think calling me an old woman is an insult? It's just a fact. It's like pointing at me and saying, "You, you - you have ten toes!"

Anyway, I digress, more than this whole blog is usually a digression. In case you are wondering, the reason I don't cry about things is that I learned early on that no one cared. If you are rich or beautiful and you cry people rush to help you. No one was rushing around to help me so I learned to suck it up and figure it out. That's not self-pity, it's just a fact. Actually, sucking it up and figuring it out has a lot to recommend it as a lifestyle.

Would it be nice if I'd had people running around handing me tissues and worrying about my feelings? Yes, probably. I also think it would be nice to have wings and be able to fly over Santa Monica Bay. In either case, I don't spend too much time pondering the lack .

It was an interesting question, though, and I pondered it over the last few days. How would I like people to see me? Does it matter to me how people see me? Do I really want to be understood ? Maybe, sometimes for about a minute when I am talking to my husband about mortality and he responds with a recommendation for a Raspberry Pi book that focuses more on game programming than hardware. We have been married 20 years because I do not smack him at these times and just remind myself of his many positive qualities of which being a good listener is not one.

I'd have to say I am used to being misunderstood and it doesn't bother me. Randomly,  this week, I happened across a thread on the internet that had been up for years with people I had never met ranting about me. There was much vitriol about my conceit, insecurity, demand for attention, etc. because her blog is DR AnnMaria. Can you imagine having DR in your email? She insists everyone call her DR - and on and on for pages. I laughed pretty hard at that.

When I got my first email account, way back when, it was not out of the question to get your actual name - that's how long ago it was. However, AnnMaria was taken, so I went with Dr. AnnMaria which is what my students at the university called me. THIS came about because when the students asked if they should call me AnnMaria or Dr. Rousey I said,

"Call me whatever the hell you want. I don't care."

I found it really funny that people had nothing better to do than speculate about my personality based on my blog name and twitter handle, that were left overs from my aol account from 1990.

What about people that do know me, though? Don't I really want to be understood by them? Don't I want my children or good friends to understand why I made certain decisions or don't cry every time they get on a plane? That would be nice but I'm not sure how possible it is to understand another person 100% , especially if you grew up in a completely different time and situation. Like I said, wings would be nice, too. They know I love them. That's enough.



 It was a really interesting question, though. What about you? If you could have people see you for exactly who you are, what would that look like? And do you care?

I'd still like to have wings.



If you like to see what our family group text is like, you can get the Family Business Textbook if you back our Kickstarter, Aztech.$50 or more. You'll also get a game for yourself and sponsor a whole classroom. Part video game, part graphic novel, it teaches Latin American history and math. It's bilingual so you can improve both your Spanish and English!

Back our Kickstarter to beat the crowd and get your copy first!





Saturday, August 19, 2017

Why bother staying in shape after you retire?

In the title, I specifically meant after you retire from competition, but it could apply to after you retire from working as well.

I get it. You've spend over a decade of your life cutting weight, running sprints, doing two-a-day practices so you can beat the competition. Your knees hurt, your back hurts, for the love of God can't you just relax on the couch and drink beer? Certainly, you've earned it.

I can certainly appreciate that thought. I had a long week -finished a report due to a funding agency, flew to Bismarck, drove to Standing Rock, did a professional development workshop via Google hangout and a second one on site in Fort Yates. Now, I have a 70 mile drive to the airport, two flights to get home and a pile of paperwork to complete and another report to write before Monday.

I admit it. This morning, I did NOT get up and go to the pool. I slept in until 10 and then spent another hour in bed drinking coffee and catching up on Twitter. And yet, I'm going to head out in a few minutes and go hiking for an hour before I head to the airport. That daily exercise is why I am still, literally, at my fighting weight.  although, to steal a phrase from Brewster Thompson, that weight isn't "packed in tight" as it once was.

That's not the point. What is the point? Why, I have prepared this handy video to explain it.


Okay, heading to the state park and then to the airport. If you'd like to keep up on our videos, you can subscribe to the 7GenGames TV youtube channel.  My next video will be on how the worst days of my life now are better than the worst days I could imagine when I was young.

If you like to learn new things - which I'm assuming you do by the fact that you are reading this blog, you should also check out our latest game, Aztech. Part video game, part graphic novel, it teaches Latin American history and math. It's bilingual so you can improve both your Spanish and English!

Back our Kickstarter to beat the crowd and get your copy first!