Bitch-slapping, Birth and Arm bars

It was a bit confusing today. I had received an email from a TV show asking if they could interview me on Wednesday morning. I wrote back and said that I don't do mornings but I'd let them in to do the two hours of setting up lights, etc. and then be interviewable around 11. Later, I got another email from a TV show producer saying having looked at the available space at my place they had decided to do the interview at Ronda's in the afternoon on Wednesday.

SO .... at 9 a.m., the doorbell rings and it's the TV people. They set up - outdoors, it turned out, and did the interview for a few hours. There is generally a lot of repetition in these interviews but this was the first time anyone asked me this question.

"So, who would you like to bitch-slap?"

I shared this with my husband, who made no comment. When I asked him why he didn't even want to know the answer, he replied,

"I've never really been interested in the whole bitch-slap concept."

Fifteen years of marriage left him confident it wasn't him and that was good enough. (In case you are more curious, you can find the answer here. It's this woman. My reaction when reading her article, and this is a direct quote, was "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.") I doubt that will make it on to HBO.

I feel obligated to point out that the ten-year-old on the left should have the arm locked against her chest, like her partner in crime on the right does. 

The interviewer also asked me why I taught my daughter something so painful as an arm bar. I told him that most of the time a person taps so nothing is hurt but their pride. He mentioned watching Ronda dislocate Miesha Tate's arm and said that looked like it hurt pretty much. I said yes, but at the moment the adrenaline rush keeps it from hurting too bad, and although it's sore the next day, it's nothing like childbirth. He said,

Come on, you've got to be kidding me?! Giving birth is worse than getting arm barred? I always hear women say how painful it was but seriously, it can't be that bad."

As someone who has both been arm barred and has given birth four times, I guarantee you that child birth is more painful. Giving birth is more like being arm barred over and over for 45 minutes.

After the interview, I turned back on my cell phone to see that I had three messages from Ronda. I called her and she said,

"Mom, why aren't you here? There is a film crew at my house and they're supposed to interview you."

I told her I was just done being interviewed but she said,

"Now, welcome to my life. That was a DIFFERENT film crew for a DIFFERENT show on a DIFFERENT network. Now you have to come over here. "

The second interviewer didn't asked me about bitch-slapping or childbirth. He did ask me a lot of questions about working out with Ronda when she was younger and whether it was true that I randomly tried to arm bar her - and then she randomly tried to throw me, which I personally think should be considered elder abuse and a chargeable offense but unfortunately, they had run out of film by then so I have no tangible evidence.

The Places You'll Go with Judo

I usually hate every Facebook app on principle, but I saw this one and did it just for the heck of it. I'd been to 105 of the 199 cities on their list and 13 countries. That's not even a comprehensive list, because they did not ask about Venezuela nor Tunisia, nor any cities in North Dakota or Minnesota.

Most of the cities in the U.S. have been for work, but all of the international travel has been for judo, either to compete or train myself or watch Ronda compete. Several of the U.S. cities were for competition,  too.

(Planning some international travel for work starting this year - woohoo! )



Sometimes I think people keep competing in judo long after their peak competitive years just because they like to travel. There's nothing wrong with that if you can afford it and are not taking money from your parents or a second mortgage on your house to do it.

Also, if you note the number of cities scattered across the U.S. - and that's not even a complete list - my advice is that if you like to travel domestically, consulting is probably a good career for you.

On the other hand, if you don't like traveling, choose a different sport and a different profession.

See what you get here, advice on judo and career planning. I try to run a full-service blog.

Judo Athletes Need to Get a Sense of Perspective

Warning: This is another mean old lady rant. I do actually have some cool stuff on arm bars and escapes I'll put up later this week but I really have to get some work done first for my actual job where they pay me money.




If the cinch cast above doesn't play, you can try the link here.

The Judo Quiz: AnnMaria Version

This is an actual quiz someone found on a website and posted on the judoinfo site. I couldn't resist responding to it, and since I am super-busy with work, I just edited my post from judo info a bit and pasted it here.

JUDO QUIZ Test your judo knowledge!


How long have you practiced judo? Since God was a baby.

How successful are you in competition? As a young person -- more successful than you. Now --- more successful than my guinea pig, Edward. (Yes, I do have a guinea pig named Edward, what of it? His actual name is Edward G. Robinson and he belonged to my daughter, Jenn, who lives in San Francisco. Why he now lives in my house I am still not sure.)

QUIZ

1. Americans normally do very well in other Olympic combat sports such as wrestling and boxing. Why do Americans normally place near the bottom of world rankings in judo?
Your answer: Since most international medals in the last decade have come from our two kids, I believe the correct answer is because Jimmy Pedro Sr. and I quit having children. (ooh, not like together or anything - yuck.) I am way too old and tired. If someone was rich and good-looking, they might be able to talk Jimmy into it, though.

2. There are many different throwing skills. What determines which ones you should use?
Your answer: The ones that people fall down when you do them, duh!!!

3. Can you name 5 safety rules for judo?
Your answer:

• Don't fight Ronda.


• No biting.


• No poking in the eye unless the referee and side judges are the Three Stooges.


• Don't eat an entire cheesecake right before you compete.


• If someone is about to break your arm, tap.

4. How do you properly decide how good a judo instructor is?
Your answer: (In no particular order) I try what the instructor tells me and the other person loses, or at least, the entire audience does not fall on the floor rolling with laughter.

5. Do you think any judo coach today could be a better coach than Jigoro Kano?
Your answer: Of course. I mean, with all due respect, he's dead. Were you not aware of that? Dead people are generally not very effective as coaches. Although I can think of some coaches where their students would be better off coached by a dead person, or by my guinea pig, Edward.

6. To get better at judo, is it best to practice with someone more skilled than yourself, about the same skill level, or less skilled?
Your answer: To improve, it is better to practice with someone more skilled than yourself. To impress potential dates, it is better to practice with someone less skilled and do very fancy moves. I actually did this (honest) married him and he named our daughter after himself.

7. What is the very first skill taught in your judo club? Why?
Your answer: In commercial clubs, it is signing the check. I believe the answer to why is obvious.

8. Is it important to do uchi-komis?
Your answer: Important to whom? To me, yes. To Edward, no.

9. Is off-balancing your opponent important and necessary when doing a throw?
Your answer: Physically off-balancing is recommended, but one could also try mentally off-balancing, such as springing questions upon the opponent immediately after bowing, as in "Where were you on the night of June 31, 2008 and is it true that the woman you were with was not your wife?"

10. Is it important to develop a "favorite throw"?
Your answer: Yes. My favorite throw is the one where the referee shouts ippon at the end. My second favorite throw is the one in Star Trek where Spock waves his hand and the 300 lb guy goes flying in a circle and then lands on his back knocked out.

11. Is it important to learn nage-no-kata?
Your answer: Nage no kata is very useful for punishing smart-mouth teenagers. Coincidentally (and this is really true) BOTH my daughter and I learned nage no kata as punishment for talking back to our mothers.

12. Is there such a thing as a perfect throw?
Your answer: Not when I do it, as anyone who has ever seen me at tachiwaza can attest.

13. When entering into a throw, what determines what methods of entry you use?
Your answer:Whether or not I have a crowbar and the laws against breaking and entering in that state.

14. Why do you throw to the left or right?
Your answer: It depends on the direction the wind is blowing, I am trying to take advantage of the air currents to increase elevation.

15. Is there such a thing as an "ideal build" for judo?
Your answer: Yes. It is exactly 5 feet one inch tall and 56 kg.

16. Do you see anything wrong in bowing to a picture of Jigoro Kano, the dead founder of judo?
Your answer: No, but if it bowed back to me, I would get extremely nervous.

17. Do you normally bow to people you respect, such as your parents or your boss, or their pictures?
Your answer: I bow to some people I respect. I called my grandmother ma'am out of respect. Lots of times, I ran from her, especially when she was chasing me with an umbrella (I didn't make this up, either.)

18. According to the International Judo Federation (IJF), what are the official languages of judo?
Your answer: Ow! and Yay!

19. When falling on the back and using the arm to help break the fall, which principle governs the striking of the arm on the mat?
Your answer: Gravity.

20. Should the arm strike the mat before the back hits the mat, as the back hits the mat, or just a little bit after the back hits the mat?
Your answer:Depends on who has your arm. If it is some people, you are lucky to get your arm back at all to hit anything. Just count your blessings and hush.

21. When you are at a tournament, are you required to bow at the edge of the contest area (often the edge of the red "danger area") before walking up to the line where you bow to your opponent?
Your answer: No, but I recommend it. If you are really good, it gives your opponent longer to have second thoughts and run away.