1. Judo is not done to music, thus making it something done by tough people and athletes (some of whom are the same people). Judo has kata and I have had the privilege to meet some very well-respected people in kata. Yet, not once have I seen Greg Fernandez, Brian Marks or even Eiko Shepard (who is a lady) break out into nage no kata to the tune of "Walk Like a Lady." I actually have seen this in karate.
2. Seriously, related to number one, how intimidating are you to someone who attacks you if your best response is
"Back off, buddy or I will kick around to the tune of All the Colors of the Wind!?"3. Nothing in judo is done with fans. We have tournaments. They involve throwing, chokes, pins and armbars. We have katas. Some of them include knives and guns. No fans. I don't care if you say they are supposed to be metal-tipped or what. They are fans. Imagine if you are in that movie Sky High and the teen super-heroes meet.
"What's your name?"
"I am Throwing-Choking-Armbar Woman. Who are you?"
"I'm Fan Girl."
"Ri--i- ight. Look, maybe you can fan us when we get back from defeating the super villains. Catch you later."
Guess who is NOT going to be voted coolest in the teen super-hero class.
4. Every third person in karate I meet claims to be a world champion or the Korean national champion. They must have world championships in karate every day and twice on Sunday. As for Korea, I can only assume their national championships is by date of birth, so there is a division for people whose birth date was July 11, 1986 and so on. People in judo lie too, but they lie smarter. They all say they were seventh in the world championships (because the first five names get published). If they are really creative they say they were in the Olympics representing the country of their ancestors which is always some island nation you never heard of like Paprika or Cayenne.
5. Only in karate do you receive a trophy which is larger than the combined mass of the people you defeated. That is just plain wrong.
6. No one in judo is called Grand Master Katydid of the Owa Canal or other weird titles. This is a dojo, not the set of Lord of the Rings for crying out loud.
7. Judo throws do not have names that sound like today's special at a Chinese restaurant. In judo, one of the most common techniques is called a shoulder throw because you - I know you would not guess this - throw the person over the shoulder. The side hold is done by holding someone down from the side. Karate moves have names like "The crane of a thousand sidewinders" and "The constipated dragon." What's that all about?
8. Judo has a technique called the naked strangle, which could actually be used for strangling naked people. One might wonder, if one were me, why you would have let them get naked with you in the first place if you feel like strangling them. I can only speculate that they did something after the naked part occurred that precipitated the strangle urge. Still, I can comprehend the theoretical need for strangling naked people so judo gets extra points for both foresight and logical naming convention.
---------- REQUIRED JUDO TIP OF THE DAY --------------
Don't take karate. Take judo instead. Also, don't forget that practice is at 10- 11:30 a.m. and 1-4 at the USJA/ USJF West Coast Judo Training Center